I Bet They Don't Have Swings In Heaven
by Girl in a White Dress
Summary: Post – Enemy Below. AU. What if the landmine had killed Bud? AJ's POV.


Title: I Bet They Don't Have Swings In Heaven

Author: Melanie-Anne

Email: melani_anne@yahoo.com 

Rating: PG

Summary: Post – Enemy Below. AU. What if the landmine had killed Bud? AJ's POV.

Disclaimer: Not mine *sigh*

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I don't think Mommy likes our new house. She cries all the time. I don't know why, 'cause I like it. There's a big backyard and a swing and there's even an upstairs. Our old house didn't have an upstairs.

Gramma and Grampa are here. I don't think they like the house either, 'cause they look pretty sad too. Grampa says we're going to a funeral today. That's a funny word. I hope there'll be cake at this funeral place. I have to get all dressed up and everything. Gramma helped me. She bought me a new suit. It's black like Daddy's uniform, except it doesn't have those funny things on my shoulders and it doesn't have any shiny badges. I want to be just like Daddy when I grow up. He's not here today 'cause he's on a ship somewhere. I asked Mommy if we could visit—I really like ships—but she said the Navy wouldn't let us. Maybe if _I_ ask Uncle AJ, he'll say yes.

Gramma and Grampa are also all in black. Mommy too. Her eyes are all red and puffy, like she's been crying again. I guess if she really doesn't like the house, we can go back to our old one. She didn't cry when we lived there.

It's time to go! I hold Mommy's hand as we go to the car and she squeezes mine tight. I want to tell her she doesn't have to, I'm not a baby anymore, but I'm scared she'll start crying again. Me and Mommy sit in the back and Grampa drives. Old people drive real slowly. I hope this funeral place isn't far away.

When we get there, I see everyone who works with Mommy and Daddy. Auntie Mac and Uncle Harm are standing together, next to this big white thing. Auntie Mac is crying and Uncle Harm looks pretty upset too. They come over to us and say something to Mommy. They're speaking real soft and I can't hear what they're saying. Then Mommy hugs Auntie Mac. I want a hug too.

Everyone's in their smart uniforms. We walk over to where they are. There's this big thing that's covered with a really big flag. We sit down on white chairs and this black guy starts speaking.

Why does everyone look so sad?

Auntie Mac is next to me and I hold her hand. She looks at me and smiles.

Hey, hang on. The black guy is talking about my dad. I look around but I can't see him anywhere. I tap Mommy's arm.

"Where's Daddy?" I ask.

She starts crying again and pulls me onto her lap, holding me close. I didn't mean to make her cry.

Everyone else stands up and then there's a loud noise. Some guys have shot their rifles. That's strange. This funeral thing is weird.

A guy stands in front of Mommy and holds out a flag. She shakes her head so Auntie Mac takes it from him. Now I can see what the flag was covering. It's a big, wooden . . . thing. 

"Mommy, what's that?" I point to it.

"It's a coffin," Auntie Mac says.

"What's it for?"

She looks at Mommy, then at me. "To bury people."

Oh . . . oh . . . I think I know who's in it. Mommy woke me up one night and told me something bad had happened to Daddy and that he wasn't going to come home . . . 

You know what, I don't think Mommy was crying 'cause she didn't like the house.

"I want Daddy."

Mommy kisses my cheek. "I know, sweetie. Me too."

I start crying. Daddy's not coming home. He's in the coffin and they're going to put him in the ground and leave him there. 

It's not fair! I want Daddy to come home. Why can't God bring my Daddy back like he brought that Larry guy back? We learned it in Sunday School, Miss Ehlers said God could do anything. Maybe I have to pray first: please, God, bring Daddy back, I'll be good, I promise . . .

I look at the coffin but nothing happens. Mommy stands and carries me to the car. Everyone starts to leave. I want to tell them to wait, that Daddy's coming back . . . but nothing happens. 

I bury my face in Mommy's neck. What if God takes her away too? I hold on to her, scared she'll go away.

"It's okay, AJ," she says. "We still have each other. Mommy loves you so much, you hear?"

"Mm-hmm," I mumble. But I don't let go.

As we get into the car, I look at the coffin one more time. Some guys are putting it in the ground. I guess Daddy's _really_ not going to wake up.

Miss Ehlers says when you die you go to heaven. She says heaven's where God lives and that when you get there you'll never be sick or sad or anything. She says that you mustn't be sad when someone dies 'cause you'll see them again when you die. But I don't want to die. I want Daddy to come back and see the new house and push me on my swing. I bet they don't have swings in heaven.

Please, God, bring my Daddy back. Pretty please. I won't do anything bad ever again . . . cross my heart.

Mommy closes the door and Grampa starts to drive away.

I guess God just wasn't listening today. I'll ask him again tomorrow, when he's not so busy.

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End file.
